Last week my doctor told me blood tests had revealed that my insulin level was much higher than it should be. “You’re still young and we caught this early, so we can definitely do something about it,” she said kindly.
Funny thing is, I wasn’t surprised… Well, I was, but not entirely. Last year I fell off the clean eating and fitness wagon… No, it’s more like, I was catapulted so far off the wagon, I was unable to even find the path back. I’ve been struggling for the greater part of 2016, and now the first part of 2017 to get my mind right, and make the changes which I was very much aware needed to be made. So yes, I should’ve expected something like this.
Just typing that, I make myself so angry. How do you knowingly neglect your health like that? How do you allow yourself to become so lazy and lethargic? How are you that stupid? Arghhh!!!
Okay, so being angry and screaming isn’t going to fix this. My doctor’s advice? A low carb eating plan. I misheard her, and a sorrowful groan escaped my throat.”No carbs? But I love carbs!” Even doc had to laugh then, before reassuring me with: “all us women do!”
So that’s where we are right now. Low carb eating plan, huffing and puffing my way through a tiny bit of exercise to start… a lifestyle change.
I think what makes me so mad with myself is that I’ve done this before. Not because of a well-timed kick in the head from a doctor’s appointment, but just because I wanted to. It upsets me that I let go of the really good habits which had started to come so easily, and let things get so out of control.
As we’ve already established though, hanging on to these negative feelings isn’t going to help. So I need to focus on the positive, on what I can do – I can eat right, and bring those insulin levels down. I can work on getting in shape again, and actually being able to enjoy playing soccer outside with Shawn and Zee. I can make this lifestyle change, and make it stick this time.
Also, I’m putting it out there, right here. Knowing that all of you know what I’m supposed to be doing – eating right, getting in those workouts – actually makes it easier for me to stick to this… which is probably why I put off writing this until now. I’ll keep you updated on how things go, recipes I’m trying, etc, once every two weeks, or more frequently if there’s something awesome to share. Wish me well! Eeek…